2015年6月13日雅思寫作解析及語料庫
來源：互聯網
小編：Lucy 1662015年6月13日雅思寫作解析及語料庫
小作文： 餅圖和柱圖的組合圖：
點評：
1. 靜態餅圖比較的是百分比的大小;動態餅圖比較的是百分比的變化。
2. 靜態柱形圖比較的是百分比的高低;動態柱圖比較的是百分比的變化。
As traffic and accommodation problems are increasing in the large cities，the government encourages businesses move to the rural area. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? 政府鼓勵企業移到鄉村地區，是否認為這種做法的利大于弊?
雅思提問的四種經典角度：
1. 兩種觀點討論
2. 利弊討論
3. 是否同意一種觀點
4. 分析問題和解決問題
利弊討論話題的布局圖：
首段：背景介紹 + 爭議焦點 + 作家立場
二段：三個利好的展開：一定要有寫作細節和例證的支持
三段：二個弊端的展開：一定要有寫作細節和例證的支持
尾段：亮明觀點：強調是……是雙刃刀，有利有弊;我們應該揚長避短或者我認為……是利大于弊以及提出如何克服弊端。
作家立場：政府鼓勵企業遷移到鄉村地區的做法是利大于弊。
思路拓展：
企業遷移到鄉村地區利好的展開：
1. 這有助于大都市的環境的改善，因為減少了空氣和噪音的污染。
2. 城市里建立大型企業會占據寶貴的土地的資源，如果企業遷出城市中心，這會緩解住房短缺的壓力。
3. 在偏遠的鄉村地區建立企業，有助于創造地方的就業機會，繁榮當地的經濟。
企業遷移到鄉村地區弊端的展開：
1. 如果將城市中已有的企業遷移到偏遠的地區，這可能會使城市中原企業的職員失業。
2. 一些可能污染環境的企業，例如造紙廠和化工廠，如果建設在郊區，會給當地造成一定的環境污染。
尾段策略：
雖然鼓勵企業遷移到郊區可能存在一些弊端，但是，我認為，這個做法從長遠看，是利大于弊的。
原創范文賞析：
首段：背景介紹+爭議焦點+作家立場
Currently, it is no rare to see that many businesses are encouraged to build their factories and conduct their production in those rural areas. People have been pondering the pros and cons of motivating enterprises to migrate to the rural areas without reaching any definite consensus. As I see it, the merits of this practice outbalance its possible demerits.
點評：首段個性開篇;句型引導爭議焦點;清晰亮明作家立場。
二段：三點利好的展開：(三點理由)
Granted, numerous benefits can be gained via inspiring the factories to run in the remote rural areas. First, the most obvious merit is that housing shortage could be greatly ameliorated More precisely, if there are less large-scaled enterprises to occupy limited land resources, then，increasing numbers of people will have chances to realize their dreams of owning their houses in big cities. Further, it is conceivable that over-expansion of highly contaminated factories in big cities will inevitably trigger environment-related problems and even traffic problems, hence, the heavy traffic and undesirable living environment can be effectively resolved if few factories are not allowed to exist in metropolis. Eventually, the migration of businesses will, to a large extent, inject new l vitality into the further development of those rural areas. In other words, more local job opportunities can be created and thus prosper the local economy.
解析：housing shortage could be greatly ameliorated 住房短缺可以得到極大改善
解析：over-expansion of highly contaminated factories in big cities will inevitably trigger environment-related problems and even traffic problems 高度污染的企業的擴張會帶來一些環境問題和交通問題
解析：are not allowed to exist in metropolis. 不被允許在大都市存在
解析：inject new l vitality into the further development of those rural areas. 為鄉村地區的發展注入新鮮活力
點評：邏輯清晰;詞匯變化;句型多元。
三段：弊端的展開(二點理由)
Nonetheless，we can never ignore the possible downsides triggered by constructing rural enterprises. First of all, this policy will take the bread out of many city workers’ mouth provided that their former businesses have to migrate to rural areas because most employees might be reluctant to work far away from home. Another demerit might be that some factories such as paper mills or chemical plants will pose a threat to the local environment even though it brings about economic incentive.
解析：take the bread out of one’s mouth v搶了某人的飯碗
解析：paper mills or chemical plants n造紙廠和化工廠
解析：pose a threat to v給……造成威脅
點評：側重分明;論述有理;文風簡潔。
尾段：亮明觀點 + (總結理由)
In closing，my stand is that building up factories in the rural areas is a double-edged weapon， which can used for equally good or evil. Even though it might cause some problems，it is still a preferable and feasible attempt in the long run.
解析：…… is a double-edged weapon， which can used for equally good or evil ……是一把雙刃刀，有利有弊。
解析：It is still a preferable and feasible attempt in the long run. 從長遠看，這依然是一個值得推薦的可行的嘗試。
全文點評：
文無定法，原創范文只是雅思寫作之一種，建議童鞋打造屬于自己的個性范文。本文主題明確，邏輯清晰，例證飽滿，詞匯多元，句法多變，符合雅思寫作四項評分標準，可為童鞋賞析學習之佳作。建議童鞋背誦文中精彩的詞匯和句型。考試周報的練筆對于寫作的提升極其重要，功夫在詩外，積累在點滴，童鞋加油。6月20日以及6月27日雅思考試預測請關注雅思頻道。
